Thursday 29 October 2015

Braking News

It is suggested that George Osborne is to resign as Chancellor of the Exchequer as a result of the mishandling of Tax Credit changes.

He will leave the House of Commons to take up a post with his family firm, Osborne and Little, supervising their accounts in tax havens.  Wayne Rooney, a popular local man, is tipped to replace him by experts in the bar at The Tatton Arms.

His replacement as Chancellor will be Ms. Camila Batmanghelidjh, the former chief of Kids' Company who has wide experience in giving money to the poor or those said to be poor by the BBC, such as some of its senior executives.

In a move to overcome constitutional difficulties, the Chancellor will no longer be required to be a member of the House of Commons but will become the Leader of the Conservative Party in the House of Lords.

The Prime Minister, as First Lord of the Treasury, will answer for that department in the House of Commons.  When he feels like it.

Accordingly, Camila is to become Lady Batman of Leake in North Yorkshire.  This elevation will be celebrated locally by a service of thanks in the Parish Church of St. Mary the Virgin.

YouGov polls indicate an increase in support for the Conservatives.

1 comment:

  1. Ms. Batmanghelidjh seems to be doing sums on her fingers. Good practice for her new job.