Promise Of The Day Second

Hard on the heels of the Inheritance Tax and related giveaways, originally introduced to curb inequalities of wealth, comes the news that leading parties will give free funerals to all.  Not only that but in the spirit of diversity mortality will not mean loss of human rights.

So those wishing to communicate with their once nearest and dearest, or at least relatives will be entitled to claim for the cost of mediums, spiritualists and shamans.  Cameron will assert that he will table the new laws immediately on being returned to office in that Osborne's Treasury already has the relevant expertise.

The Labour Party will take the view that as their policies and practices are already ancient they are the ones to be entrusted.  The Lib Dem's will want to abolish death and replace it with life eternal in the freezer.  The Green's are divided as to whether dust should return to dust or adopt the Parsi methods of disposal.

The SNP view is that an open door policy is the way forward or backward.  In the absence of oil, industry or other forms of work Scotland could welcome the world's deceased.  Also, they would want to repatriate all Scots or their descendants who died abroad.  This would give a huge boost to public spending and the economy.

Jame's Skinner of Skinner's Horse could return from Delhi and John Russell Colvin with his tomb from the Red Fort at Agra could be placed on the lawns of Balmoral Castle as a major tourist attraction overlooking all the wind farms.

Scotland could become the dead centre of the world.