Monday 30 September 2013

Getting Back To Work

Job Application.

Saw your thing in the job page when something went wrong on the internet and it failed to deliver on the Big Babes At It site.  I think it was because I wanted the Barbie Goes Ed to Ed feature, and I got Barclay's instead. 

Never mind, I thought that this might be just the work for me.  I know nothing about banking or trading, but from what I hear, Barclay's is my style of living.

First off, I have met a few head cases as bosses in the past, and have succeeded without fail in giving them a bad time.  You have some prize specimens and they and I are made for each other. 

I have high recommendations for being insubordinate, obscene, lazy, bad tempered, and destructive. For this reason my own subordinates have loved me leading to good relations with junior staff. 

Perhaps this might be because I just tell them to get on with it, and go home early when they think they have done enough.

In marketing positions I have always managed to increase sales by a huge amount, although this has sometimes had the effect of reducing a company to bankruptcy. 

It is dead easy, all you do is get the punter to take a much lower price, adjust all the paper work and he and I split the takings. 

It keeps me in Mercedes, but I am now at the point when I need a new one.  I understand that imaginative sales practices are the usual at Barclay's.

From what I read it is all something to do with gearing.  I spend at lot of time on the web looking at gear, especially the more extreme types.  I could liven up your customer’s lives a lot.

By the way I enjoy a long liquid lunch and like to be home in good time for the football.  Because of my commitments first I need time off for the very personal and confidential treatment and second for getting the problems to begin with.

So I am just the man to understand how your bank works.  Double the offer and I’m yours.  By the way since I left the Army after a misunderstanding over a bullet up the Sergeant’s backside, unofficially of course, but I think there has been an amnesty for deserters,

I have not actually managed to stay with a firm for more than a month or so, or maybe often, a week or so.  The result is that I’m a bit short on paper references and that sort of thing. 

The local fuzz can give you some form, and tell you I’m a good man for kicking all the stuffing out of others, but luckily, and its cost me a packet down the years, there is nothing on record, at least so far.

So you see I am just the man for Barclay's, just give me a ring, and I’ll polish up my Doc Martens, get a new crop and be on my way.

Up yours,


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