This one, also published, is from the time of the 1979 General Election:
During one those meetings the Personnel Officer let a paper slip. Here is an extract:
CHECK 23 CIVIC THEATRE
The officer found a production in progress by a company called “Hamlet” and on investigation the outlays were substantial. The officer’s comments in strict adherence to the terms of reference are:
First: The setting is a Court which seems to demand an excessive input of actors relative to the output as well as decorations.
Recommended the setting be a small shop during a holiday closure with the canteen to arrange staging.
Second: A lot of words were required most of which were extraneous to the output.
Recommended that the Committee Clerks take over the servicing of actors.
Third: A large number of characters were superfluous. In view of the Corporate Strategy Plan, Polonius might become the leading part.
Recommended that the Establishment Officer review the structure.
Fourth: The plot has features which are in conflict with current employment and health and safety legislation. There is uneven use of personnel.
Recommended that the plot be reorganised with re-utilisation of acting capacity and the trade unions be consulted.
Fifth: The performance did not allow sufficient periods for the supply of refreshments to the audience. To maximise the selling potential of the bar facilities retiming the operation is necessary.
Recommended that refreshment sales take priority with acting as intervals and bells rung before and after refreshments.
CHECK 127 CIVIC THEATRE
In follow-up to Check 23 the officer was surprised to find a different performance. This involved even more substantial outlays and greatly extended use of personnel with the same time period of investigation.
A band played continuously causing the actors to sing loudly all the time. The officer was unable to determine why because the language was foreign. The time given over to applause seemed unnecessary.
Further recommendations are that extra O&M officers are needed for the Civic Theatre and that the lead person, a Carmen, seemed to have an unjustifiable number of male supporting actors.
Of course, this kind of thing could never happen.