Time Travel

You may well have seen this, but if not then it might be good for a smile at a time when there is little to smile about.

Quote:

* Pasta had not been invented.
* Curry was an unknown entity.
* Olive oil was kept in the medicine cabinet.
* Spices came from the Middle East where we believed that they were used for embalming.
* Herbs were used to make rather dodgy medicine.

* A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
* A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
* Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.
* The only vegetables known to us were spuds, peas, carrots and cabbage, anything else was regarded as being a bit suspicious.
* All crisps were plain; the only choice we had was whether to put the salt on or not.

* Condiments consisted of salt, pepper, vinegar and brown sauce if we were lucky.
* Soft drinks were called lemonade.
* Coke was something that we mixed with coal to make it last longer.
* Rice was a milk pudding, and never, ever part of our main course at dinner.
* A big mac was what we wore when it was raining.

* A microwave was something out of a science fiction movie.
* Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
* Oil was for lubricating your bike – not for cooking; fat was for cooking.
* Bread and jam was a treat.
* Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves, not bags.

* The tea cosy was the forerunner of all the energy-saving devices that we hear so much about today.
* Tea had only one colour, black. Green tea was not British.
* Coffee was only drunk when we had no tea … and then it was Camp, and came in a bottle.
* Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.

* Figs and dates appeared every Christmas, but no one ever ate them.
* Coconuts only appeared when the fair came to town.
* Jellied eels were peculiar to Londoners.
* Salad cream was a dressing for salads; mayonnaise did not exist.
* Hors d’oeuvre was a spelling mistake.

* The starter was our main meal.
* Soup was a main meal.
* The menu consisted of what we were given, and was set in stone.
* Only Heinz made beans: any others were impostors.
* Leftovers went in the dog.

* Special food for dogs and cats was unheard of.
* Sauce was either brown or red.
* Fish was only eaten on Fridays.
* Fish didn’t have fingers in those days.
* Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.

* Ready meals only came from the fish-and-chip shop..
* For the best taste, fish and chips had to be eaten out small grease-proof packets wrapped in old newspapers.
* Frozen food was called ice cream.
* Nothing ever went off in the fridge because we never had one.
* Ice cream only came in one colour and one flavour.

* None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
* Jelly and blancmange were only eaten at parties.
* If we said that we were on a diet, we simply got less food.
* Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
* Healthy food had to have the ability to stick to your ribs.

* Calories were mentioned but they had nothing at all to do with food.
* The only criteria concerning the food that we ate were … did we like it and could we afford it.
* People who didn’t peel potatoes were regarded as lazy so-and-so’s.
* Indian restaurants were only found in India.
* A seven-course meal had to last a week.

* Brunch was not a meal.
* Cheese only came in a hard lump.
* If we had eaten bacon lettuce and tomato in the same sandwich we would have been certified.
* A bun was a small cake back then.
* Eating outside was called a picnic.

* Cooking outside was called camping.
* Seaweed was not a recognised food.
* Offal was only eaten when we could afford it.
* Eggs only came fried or boiled.
* Hot cross buns were only eaten at Easter time.

* Pancakes were only eaten on Pancake Tuesday – in fact in those days it was compulsory.
* “Kebab” was not even a word, never mind a food.
* Hot dogs were a type of sausage that only Americans ate
* The phrase “boil in the bag” would have been beyond our comprehension.
* The idea of “oven chips” would not have made any sense at all to us.

* The world had not yet benefited from weird and wonderful things like Pot Noodles, Instant Mash and Pop Tarts
* We bought milk and cream at the same time in the same bottle
* Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white gold.
* Lettuce and tomatoes in winter were just a rumour.
* Most soft fruits were seasonal except perhaps at Christmas.

* Prunes were medicinal.
* Surprisingly muesli was readily available in those days: it was called cattle feed.
* Turkeys were definitely seasonal.
* Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a real one.
* We didn’t eat croissants in those days because we couldn’t pronounce them, we couldn’t spell them and we didn’t know what they were.

* We thought that baguettes were a serious problem the French needed to deal with.
* Garlic was used to ward off vampires, but never used to flavour bread.
* Water came out of the tap. If someone had suggested bottling it and charging treble for it they would have become a laughing stock.
* Food hygiene was all about washing your hands before meals.
* Campylobacter, salmonella, E. coli, listeria, and botulism were all called “food poisoning”.

* The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties … elbows.

Unquote.

I might add that then it was usual to eat at tables.