A statement is expected shortly from Ed Miliband (pictured above), Leader of the Opposition and rumoured of the Labour Party, on their position in respect of Gibraltar. He is expected to emphasise our ties with Spain and the crucial need for the UK to be at the oesophagus of Europe.
As the status of the Gibraltarians is that of illegal immigrants in the Labour view, a handover would be arranged soon after Labour's success in the 2015 elections and the Gibraltarians removed to the Cotswolds to be close to David Cameron and his friends.
Crucial to our needs are the imports of salads from Spain, the sherry he prefers and how much Spanish trucks on our motorways are essential to growth. He will remind us of our historical debt to Spain arising from the Peninsular War of 1807 to 1814 when the Kingdom of Spain saved Britain from Napoleon.
The present Duke of Wellington will be arrested and handed over for trial in Madrid for the war crimes of his ancestor along with the descendants of Israel Wilde who led the Forlorn Hope of the 43rd Light Infantry through the breach in the walls of Ciudad Rodrigo and are alleged to have caused damage to property.
Paella will become compulsory for school meals.