Mothers' Day - Government Announcement

The Department of Justice has announced that from 2011 onwards Mothering Sunday will become known as Smothering Sunday. A reorganisation of dates will occur whereby Fathers’ Day and Grandparents’ Day become merged into the new date. This is to eliminate any sexual or aged based bias or discrimination in a 21st Century modern form of annual celebration of age and connection.

The regulations for this event will be integrated with the guidance and new developments in Assisted Suicide, Self Determined Termination, Mercy Release and related schemes devoted to the readjustment of medical conditions and existing termination procedures. Guidance will be issued to assist Primary Care Trusts, Hospitals, Care Agencies and Carers and family members in carrying out the tasks. These will be accompanied by check lists and quality control features.

Terminations carried out under Smothering Sunday procedures will be subject to a ten per cent additional Stamp Duty on the estates of those released on declaration of probate. Payment of this Stamp Duty will release the smotherers from any legal liability or action that might arise and protect them from appeals against benefit from probate.

Wills and testaments made by smotherees immediately before release will not need to be accompanied by witness declarations or the signature of the person smothered. A simple signed statement submitted by the smotherer will suffice. This will enable quick and efficient turnover of estates and payment of the relevant Stamp Duty.

This facility is intended only for immediate families. Consistent with the requests made on behalf of those in multi-partner arrangements each person submitting applications for Smotherer status will be allowed only five parents and twenty five grandparents subject to personal declaration.

Members of the House of Commons and House of Lords will not be liable for Stamp Duty under the headings of Constituency Electoral Roll Management or holding directorial status in property and property management companies.

The government is certain that the new initiative will lead to increased GDP per head and an increase in the volume of wealth transmission to the benefit of all those who are restricted in the their patterns of consumption. It will also encourage a more active property market from which the whole economy will benefit.

Private Equity Companies responsible for the provision of undertaking services state that the new provisions will enable a major increase in leveraged borrowing and lending that will materially improve the financial figures.

Have a nice day.