See You Later Decorator

Our Members of Parliament are having a hard time.  Like other groups confined to limited space and forced into each others company they have to endure great hardships.

The subsidised smoked salmon in the canteen is not what they would like.  Indeed the cuisine as a whole leaves much to be desired.  This is service beyond the call of duty they feel.

Perhaps they could have a retrospective British Restaurant such as those provided in the 1940’s for working people who did not have canteens to go to and others whose lunch, and sometimes breakfast, arrangements were difficult.

For something like five or six pence in modern terms you could have two or three course meal which was well up to reasonable standards for the period.  But I did say the 1940’s.

The travails and physical risks of their job are immense.  A wrong word in the Strangers Bar could have a berserker Labour MP giving you The Glasgow Kiss.  There are stairs all over the place to fall down if you are tired and emotional.

The Members have asked for a medal to be struck for them to mark their devotion to duty, courage in the face of expenses problems and to mark their contribution to national security; that is they are kept off the streets.

May I suggest a couple of things?  The first is that the motto for this honour should reflect the central meaning of their work.  “Porcos In Trifolium” would be the most fitting in my view.

Another would be that as of right as our legislators and wise rulers they should be eligible to be decorated with any other medal of their choice from those available either to the public or the armed services.

This would mean a lot of medals, enough to warrant both front and rear display.  I know just where to pin them.

And it would not be the chest.